I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:
We’ll talk about common misunderstandings between men and women due to our differences in communication.
By the end of this episode:
- Common misunderstandings between men and women
Describe the problem
…You keep having disagreements and can’t seem to see eye to eye. Some experts say it’s because he’s a man and you’re a woman (or vice versa). So what are common misunderstandings between men and women? Find out in episode 137–Common Couples Misunderstandings.
YourTango.com – Man Speak Vs. Woman Speak: 10 Common Misunderstandings
- Men Ask, Women Hint – Men are socialized to make direct requests, while women are socialized to put others’ needs above their own. How does this play out in relationships? Women often expect men to read their minds and know what they want without actually telling them. If women can ease into asking for what they want instead of leaving their guy to guess, they’ll get much more of it with no mind-reading necessary.
- For Women, It’s In The Details – When she says, “Do you remember that sweater I wore on our second date?” He hears her say, “If you cared, you’d remember!” Women have an amazing memory for details, and they’re more sentimental than men. Women should keep in mind that men don’t remember details as well because of differences in how they process information, not because they don’t care.
- Problems: Listening Vs. Solving – When a woman has a problem, a man offers solutions. Often, she’s simply looking for understanding and validation. And a woman tends to give men what she’d want: a shoulder to cry on, which is often the last thing he wants. As a rule of thumb: men should offer women compassion first and then help, and women should offer men help first and then compassion.
- Men Compartmentalize, Women think “big picture” – Women and men don’t think the same way—maybe you’ve noticed. Men compartmentalize, mentally and emotionally separating work, relationships, etc. Women think “big picture,” connecting all the aspects of their lives.
- She Says Too Much; He Says Too Little – When a woman feels stressed, she wants and needs to vent. In fact, she often will verbally recall every single horrific detail about her job, her overwhelming schedule and her family. She often uses dramatic words or phrases like “He always…!”, “We never…!”, “How could you/she/they…!”. When a woman reacts like this, it’s best to remember that it’s just like a valve on the pressure cooker.
- Women Like Reminders – He thinks, “I’m committed to her, she knows I love her.” She thinks, “What has he done to show me he loves me today?” It is not necessary to reassure her that he loves her every hour, but he shouldn’t assume that a gesture of love last month is fresh in her mind today. He should continue to do the nice little things he did while he was pursuing her.
- “Are You Even Listening?” – She says, “You never listen to me.” He thinks, “She talks all the time, and all I do is listen.” All he really has to do is give some verbal cues to indicate he is paying attention such as, “Really, I didn’t realize that.” He can also ask questions about the content of what she is saying to let her know he is listening. It’s also OK to tell her when he is focused on something else, “Honey, I really want to hear what you are saying, can this wait until I finish this page?”
#1 I’m Independent, But I Still Need Your Help – She says, “I’m capable of doing that myself.” He hears, “She doesn’t want my help.” This can be confusing but most women, no matter how strong and capable, still love to be “taken care of” by their men, in one way or another. Women are taking care of others all the time. Tell her that you know she can do it herself but that you love to do things for her so she can take it easy.
- Elijah’s Thoughts
- Sarah’s Thoughts
If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.
Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.
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