00144 – When Are You Ready For A New Relationship?

Show Intro

I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:

 

Show Description

How do you know that you’re ready to jump back into dating after a breakup, or long absence from the ‘Dating scene’? Today’s show is an extension of a piece of content on Thought Catalog called “19 Signs You Are Ready For A Relationship”, by Chelsea Fagan.

 

By the end of this episode:

  • 10 Signs that it’s time to jump back into the dating game

 

Describe the problem

…It’s been two years, 8 months and 14 days since your last serious relationship. You’ve done the healing you’ve needed to do, gone on some dates, had some fun, and now you think you’re ready to jump back into the crazy game of love. Find out in this episode the sure signs you’re ready to soar.

 

Segment #1

  1. You are not still holding onto the remnants of an old relationship, even if that just means occasionally reading old messages because there is still a part of you that wishes you were back in that moment.
  2. There is a clear idea in your mind of the qualities you do and do not want in someone, and you have the conviction to say “no” to people with whom you know it won’t work out in the long term.
  3. You are fulfilled in your friendships and know that they are a good circle of affirmation for you, because one person can’t be everything you need in your life.
  4. When you look at the relationships around you, you have a keen eye for recognizing the things that are and aren’t healthy about them, the things you would want for yourself and the things you’d want to avoid in your own life.
  5. For each breakup that you’ve been through, you’re able to look back and, even if you were at fault and you don’t like admitting it, see what went wrong and how it could have been done differently. Whether it was an unforgivable transgression or simple incompatibility, you have the perspective to take real lessons from each ending you’ve gone through.

 

[message break]

 

Segment #2

  1. You know that, ultimately, only you are going to know what is right for you in terms of a serious relationship, and if people in your life don’t approve of it, the only thing you can do is be strong in your choice and respectfully decline their unwanted opinion.
  2. You accept that relationships for other people don’t always look the same — that it can be more than two people, or reject the idea of marriage, or don’t want children — and realize that other people’s love has no bearing on you and therefore doesn’t need your judgment.
  3. You are comfortable being alone, and want to share yourself with someone only because you believe that it can enhance the both of you, not because you believe there is something deficient in you that needs to be compensated for.
  4. You have a whole list of adventures that — in addition to the ones you’ve taken on by yourself or with friends — you can’t wait to do with your partner, once you have found each other.

[message break]

 

Final Thoughts:

#1 You realize that it is just that: You find each other. It’s not you searching endlessly for the person who will complete you, because you both have something to give and something to teach, and any relationship that feels like one person is doing the other one a favor is the kind that you don’t want to be in.

 

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts
    • “trying”

 

Show recap

Listener Mail

 

Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

 

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

 

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