What are some of the core beliefs that you need to have to become great at approaching people that you don’t know.
Describe the problem
…You have a friend who always seems to be up to his eyeballs in women. Or a friend who seems like she’s never met a stranger. You want a tiny part of that, but have no idea how to start. Won’t people think you’re weird if you just start a conversation? Don’t people just want to be left alone? Online dating sort of makes things easier, but you STILL haven’t found that cute barista on OKCupid yet. Well, friend, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is, anyone can learn how to talk to anyone else. The bad news is, sometimes the biggest obstacle to getting what you want is, well, you. In this episode we’ll teach you how to get out of your own way and show the world just how cool you really are.
- 8.) Five Minutes Can Create a Lifelong Friend – How did all of your friendships start? With an introduction. Maybe it was two parents shoving small toddlers into the same play area, or a college choosing your roommate for you freshman year, but at some point even your best friends were strangers just like the one you want to approach right now. Why can’t the ending be the same, or better?
- 7.) You’re Someone Worth Talking To – Think about your life. You’ve had a ton of experiences, stories, highs and lows and the person you want to approach doesn’t know ANY of them. You have a plethora of life to share and someone would love to hear, learn from, or be nostalgic with you about yours.
- 6.) Your Goals Are In The Right Place (aka You Have the Best Intentions) – Let’s say you wrote down the reason why you wanted to approach this person. Is that reason hurtful, or will it cause harm to come to this person? If yes, choose someone else and repeat. If not, then you plan to bring a positive experience to someone other than yourself. That’s almost philanthropic, but definitely cool. Who can’t use more good , positive experiences?
- 5.) If Not This Person, Then Someone Else – Listen, not everybody loves Mint Chocolate Chip, but those that do love it, love the heck out of it. Approaching people allows you to find out which flavors of human you like, and which you’ll leave someone else to love. It’s kind of like getting a free sample of every ice cream EVER so you could decide which one is your favorite. Best. Thing. Ever.
- 4.) Everyone Deserves Someone’s Interest – Have you ever felt lonely? Dismissed? Felt like you were invisible? It’s easy to feel that way in a world where we live around millions of people, but not with very many of them at all. Approaching someone ensures that on that day, they feel like someone was interested in them, and if for only 5 minutes, they weren’t invisible to the world. You never know how one conversation can change someone’s life around.
- 3.) Everyone is Interesting – Remember all those experiences you have? We’’ this person has the same number. Having a conversation with someone is like going on a treasure hunt for awesome, and every person has tons of treasure inside of them. All you have to do to access it is to say, “hello”. Life hasn’t been this easy since kindergarten.
- 2.) This is a Skill That’s Worth Practicing – Michael Jordan sucked at basketball as a fetus. Last time I checked, he didn’t spring forth from the womb with six championship rings.He did decide that being the best was a skill and he could decide how good he was through practice and repetition. You don’t need six championship rings in approaching people, but the world gives you limitless opportunities to get better every day, if you want to.
- 1.) You Define Failure – What if they don’t think you’re handsome, cute funny, charming, chocolate enough or have the right deodorant on? What will you do then? Answer: Inhale oxygen, and exhale Carbon dioxide, just like you did before. Guess what? What if is an infinite black hole of limits whose only job is to keep you from becoming the person that you were meant to be. If you can do yourself one life favor, do this: Every time you heard yourself saying, “What if…”, finish the sentence. Sentences that start with, “What if…” are rarely finished, and the ends rarely justify the fear when they are. Ditch “What if…” and start casually seeing, “So what?”. You’ll thank us in the end.
- Elijah’s Thoughts
- Sarah’s Thoughts
If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] you can send us an email at email@example.com. You can also follow us on Twitter at “Haverelations”, find us on facebook at facebook.com/haverelations. I’m @elijahryoung on Twitter, my amazing co-host (and author of “How to be Dumped: The definitive Breakup Guide” is @sarahJStorer on Twitter and this show’s notes and soon, it’s transcription, will be at our home base, relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber], and don’t forget to subscribe to the Get the Gal, or Get the Guy mini course in the sidebar!
Now go forth and continue to relate better to one another. We’ll talk soon.